Notes from the Field

On January 12th, Claudia and I said goodbye to our Siberian Husky, Dream. She was 12 years old. In those 12 years she brought so much joy and love into our lives. While I have always had an agreement to try to keep this blog more professional than personal, Dream was a huge part of both sides of my life.

Many photographers have models or locations that they use when trying new techniques or gear. Dream was my muse, and the look she would give me when a box would arrive from B&H was priceless. I am surprise the neither one of my dogs has problems with their eyes because of all the hits they have taken from Speedlights and strobes over the years. While my younger dog Yoshi didn’t mind having his photo taken, Dream was a true model.

Dream was my second Siberian Husky, a gift from my dog’s breeder. She had been purchased by a girl who simply tied her up in the backyard and left her there. Once my breeder had found out, she rescued the dog and called me to see if I wanted a second dog in the house. I had paid a lot of money for my first Siberian, Ramius, and the chance to have a second dog for free, was one I could not pass up. I had always wanted a second dog, and I knew I could give her a good home.

Dream posing as always. A bit soft, yet one of my favorite images.

I had decided to name my new dog Dream for many reasons, but on looking back on her life, we had always joked that we should have named her Nightmare. In a matter of a week, my “free” dog had eaten most of my mothers roses, destroyed a very expensive back door and a started to eat a brand new wooden gate on a new fence. There was not a material on the planet that Dream would not try to eat.

But behind all of that terror was natures best defense mechanism, the “so damn cute” shield. When Dream wanted to be, she was an angel, and a joy to photograph. It took little to get Dream to pose and stand still for the camera; she wanted to be in front of the camera. She was a Diva.

Dream was also loud, she howled all the time, and she walked very fast, which shook the house. She could even drink water and eat loud, which I still have no idea how she did that. Now with her gone, our home is so quite. It is now empty, it is a vacuum.

Dream could also be mean, this is the face she gave my other Husky, Yoshi, when he tried to get on of her treats.

She also had her share of medical conditions, which we could never explain. He mother and siblings all had great health, but then again she was a rescue and we are not sure as to what was done to her as a puppy. I spent many hours at the vet, and I thought more than once that I was going to have to say goodbye much sooner than I did.

But for all the destruction, noise and vet bills, Dream was a great dog. She knew when you were down or sick, loved to be close to people and like all Huskies, loved to run and be outside. There was such joy and love with Dream, more than one can expect from a dog. Guest and friends were taken back with how gentle and loving she could be. We think because of her abandonment, that she would always lie on guest’s feet to make sure they would not leave.

As Dream grew older, she began to have more and more health issues and in the past year she began to lose weight and have stomach issues. The vet was not really sure what was wrong with her, and we did not want to put her through anymore painful procedures or trying to chase down a condition with medication, hunting for something that could or could not be fixed. She was happy, sung for her dinner and enjoyed causing all the havoc that she could. At times she would get ill, largely due to getting into something we thought we had closed, emptied or cleaned up. But if there was something that Dream should leave alone, she would find it, open it and devour it. I think she was some master thief in a former life, cracking safes and making off with the Queens Jewels. Our lives revolved around making sure we were at the house more than we were out. We couldn’t leave her outside due to the skills she had as a career criminal, but we couldn’t leaver her inside for many hours due to all of her stomach issues. The schedule of our lives, down to the last detail, revolved around this diva and thief, posing as a dog.

One of my best days as a photographer. New gear, fresh snow, and dogs that know how to make the most of both.

In the past she might eat a sock that had dropped on the floor, or get into a wastebasket that we hadn’t emptied, and be sick because of it for a few days. But this Tuesday, she was not only sick, but also sick for no reason and suffering. We had made a deal, that if Dream was happy and not in pain, we would let things take their course. Tuesday was different, Tuesday was pain, blood, and a look in the eye of wanting peace. I had read a long time ago that many dogs try to leave and die by themselves and Dream had wanted to go outside for two days before. Her energy and drive gone, it was clear to us that it was time.

When I was taking an EMT class, I had to do rotations in hospitals as part of my certification. On my first night I had watched a family gather around their father and watch him die from a stroke. That moment has always stuck with me. Such a horrible thing, death, but then in the same instance, the love and support of family gathered to ease the pain and bring comfort to a loved one.

So it was with me on Tuesday, January 12th, at 12:55, holding my beloved dog that had brought me so much, joy, pain, anger, love and beauty. Feeling her last breath and petting her as she left. I can’t explain the pain and sadness that was in the room. Both Claudia and I knowing that the right decision had been made, but hating that it had to be done.

I feel very torn at writing this post, because like so many, we saw the terrible tragedy that had happened in Haiti, as we came home from the vet’s. As we tried to deal with our loss, we saw reports of an entire nation broken, and in pain. Thousands of people are dead, many trapped. The living, begging for the simplest of things, and I am broken over the loss of my dog. It is always in times like these that teaches me how lucky I am, at this moment, to have a roof over my head, clean running water and food on my table. So many at this moment cannot say that now.

So it is a true gift that I had Dream in our life. Many have asked why have a dog, knowing that you will outlive it them. My answer is simple. Unconditional love. In that finite amount of time, our pets show us love, and that time with them is so precious. We waste that time at jobs, malls, standing in line, instead of spending that time doing the things we love. Dream showed me that I should not waste that time. That we should find the simple joy in a walk in the park, laying in the sun and playing with the simplest of objects. Our pets teach us not to squander that time, they remind us the joy of the simplest of things. It is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way, a lesson taught to me on the floor of a vet’s office.

Dream you were the greatest gift a person could ever asked for. The void left in our hearts in your passing can never be filled. You will be missed and always loved.

Komet's Reoccurring Dream April 1997 - January 2010