My heart is heavy by the loss of my friend Dana Lee Fox. I feel as if the air has been punched out of me, and I may never get my breath back. In a world of terrible things, full of terrible people, Dana Lee really was one of the good guys. She walked the walk and talked the talked, never really thought much about it, she just did it.
Dana Lee, or as I would call her, much to her dislike, Dana, is my exact opposite. It is a wonder how we ever became friends. As I sit here, choking back tears, I now wonder how I will ever go on without her friendship in my life. And in a sort of irony that I can’t get my head around, I found out about her passing the same way that we met more than 10 years ago, a simple glance over the Internet.
On Sunday, October 17th, 2010. Dana Lee Fox, of North Carolina, passed away due to complications from surgery. I am still trying to find out the details, but she lived on the opposite end of the country from me, so details are still sketchy. I am still trying to find out more, but I couldn’t wait for facts, which I just don’t want to come to terms with, I need to write it down.
I do not thing that I can make the trip back to North Carolina to pay my respects, which makes this all so much more painful. So, this is my eulogy to you Dana Lee.
I found out about Dana’s passing by Googling her name. We had kind of lost touch over the past 6 months, talking from time to time, but not really getting into the usual conversation lengths of the past. I was just curious if she had a Facebook page or something that I could use to see how she was doing. The first hit from Google was her obituary. My head hasn’t stopped spinning since.
Our friendship was anything but normal. Over 10 years ago, we met, one night over an AOL chat group. I IM’d her, she responded. I think we were in a 20’s single chat room or something. You know, the silly stupid things people do on the Internet.
There is no reason why we should have gone any further in a chat room that saying hi. She was a Mormon teacher, I was a bit of hell raising guy, or for a Mormon girl, I was the bad boy. We would kid about this later in life, because I am not bad in the least, but in her eye, back then, I most certainly was.
Over these many years, we agreed on little. Religion, food, movies, and even college basketball. I was a fan of Duke, but Dana, who attended UNC, was a Tar Heel fan through and through. Every March, our friendship would be tested, as we rooted more against each other’s teams, than for our own.
But we would talk, chat, email, text and write each other through out the years. It is funny to think how communication technology changed, as we would talk over long distance, always being three hours off from each other. There are few people that know me as well as Dana, and I am sure I speak the same about her.
Dana was an angel. She taught visually impaired and blind children how to see the world, when fate had been so cruel as to take their sense of vision. She made the world a better place by helping parents learn how to interact with their children with special needs. She not only held a college degree, but a masters in the field as well. She was a nationally recognized person in her field. She took little pride in titles, she was always doing for the children, not the accolades. She was strong in her community and in her faith.
Of course with such differences, we fought, constantly. Over relationships, faith, education, and of course UNC and Duke. There were times that weeks or months would go by, without either of use saying a word. But we always managed to pull it back together. We had just recently lost touch, both of us so busy with our careers. I guess both of us thinking that we would do it later. God how I wish I wasn’t so foolish.
But the most interesting part of our friendship was that Dana Lee and I had never met. It just never happened. While it doesn’t make sense, to us, it did. At first it was a bit of a crush by both of us, but as it grew into a true friendship, it just seemed like we would meet someday.
There are so many things I cannot tell you about Dana. I don’t know if she would be taller than me in heels or what kind of driver she was. But I can tell you she hated cinnamon, and the smell of coffee. She loved movies that had any sort of dancing in them, no matter how bad. She knew all of my stupid details too, as all true friends do. We spent more of a third of our life sharing the details, growing and changing as people.
As I try to find a way to fly out and attend her funeral, part of me doesn’t want to go. It sadly would be the first time I see her, face to face.
I could go on and on about our friendship, or how amazing Dana Lee Fox was, as a person, a daughter, a teacher and or course a friend. But there are not enough words to do her justice.
To Dana Lee Fox’s family and friends. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart and sympathies go out to you. I hope in time this pain and heart ache will pass.
To Dana, I will miss you so much. There are so many things I learned from you in our years of friendship. So many things, that now I wish I could have told you. How much you inspired me to change as a person and see the world with an understanding that at a time was alien to me. My heart is so empty knowing that you are no longer here. I guess the final lesson that you have taught me is that we should never waste time.
For anyone reading this. If you have been putting off that phone call or visit to a friend or family member, don’t wait a second longer. It sounds like a cliché from a greeting card or something the plays during a cheesy romantic movie. But time is finite, and the time we have with those we love and admire should be cherished as long and as often as we can.
To read more about this amazing person, click here.
Dana, I hope you were right, and I get to see you soon. This is one “I told you so” I can’t wait to hear.
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